Redacted email funny full#

This week is about fostering relationships in the greek community, and that's not fucking possible if you're going to stand around and talk to each other and not our matchup. You have 361 days out of the fucking year to talk to sisters, and this week is NOT, I fucking repeat NOT ONE OF THEM. I do not give a flying fuck, and Sigma Nu does not give a flying fuck, about how much you fucking love to talk to your sisters. If you're reading this right now and saying to yourself 'But oh em gee Julia, I've been having so much fun with my sisters this week!', then punch yourself in the face right now so that I don't have to fucking find you on campus to do it myself. I've been getting texts on texts about people LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD and so fucking BORING.

If you just opened this like I told you to, tie yourself down to whatever chair you're sitting in, because this email is going to be a rough fucking ride.įor those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this chapter, we have been FUCKING UP in terms of night time events and general social interactions with Sigma Nu.

Redacted email funny full#

Here's the full email (with the author's name changed): I would rather have 40 girls that are fun, talk to boys, and not fucking awkward than 80 that are fucking faggots.Īnd for those of you who are offended at this email, I would apologize but I really don't give a fuck. because maintaining an atmosphere of conviviality is key. I swear to fucking God if I see anyone being a goddamn boner at tonight's event, I will tell you to leave even if you're sober. I will fucking cunt punt the next person I hear about doing something like that, and I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU.įinally, she instructs any sisters who might not feel up to socializing to stay home and recuperate. she worries this behavior could create the impression that Delta Gamma is a house divided. Though the author understands the importance of good sportsmanship. and behaving in ways observers found unusual.īut I've gotten texts about people actually cheering for the opposing team. I've not only gotten texts about people being fucking WEIRD at sports She reveals that she has received word from individuals expressing concern that Delta Gamma girls have not been themselves at recreational sporting events. That's not a rhetorical question, I LITERALLY want you to email me back telling me if you're mentally slow so I can make sure you don't go to anymore night time events. and encourages them, earnestly, to reach out to her if she might be of assistance. In the missive, the author expresses concern for her sisters' ('you stupid cocks') mental well being. (Put another way: Delta Gamma's leadership was concerned that its young achievers weren't living up to the sorority's historic mission 'to foster high ideals of friendship among college women, to promote their educational and cultural interests, to create in them a true sense of social responsibility and to develop in them the best qualities of character.')

The impetus for the email: Sisters' inability to participate in Greek Week activities (particularly: those involving their 'matchup' fraternity, Sigma Nu) to the satisfaction of the board. One week after a foul-mouthed crash course in… Sorority Email Writer Resigns, Guilty of Caring Too Muchĭelta Gamma is once again a safe space for boners. The first is Delta Gammas who are 'LITERALLY being so fucking AWKWARD.' The second is young ladies who are 'so fucking BORING.'Ī tipster forwarded us the following expletive and CAPS-ridden email tirade, sent to the entire sorority chapter by one of its executive board members, that will go down in history as one of the most passionate denunciations of FUCKING AWKWARD AND BORING-ness ever committed to words. There are two things the Delta Gamma sorority's University of Maryland chapter refuses to tolerate.